Saturday, October 15, 2005

...Oh, and 1 Happy Meal...to go...


He wouldn't strike you as the type. Shaggy brown hair, somewhat tussled & tangled with a hint of grey peaking through. Nicely dressed with a crisp, clean shirt, and dark blue jeans accentuating his tall, skinny frame. A hard-working plumber by day, something else by night...

He eats alone. The steak and mashed potatoes combo can be guaranteed ready almost nightly when his shiny red pickup pulls into the parking lot. Late at night, he finds his feast, beneath the flickering of multiple neon beer signs. The waitresses walk back and forth, sassing their youthful hips and yes, he notices.

He is a bachelor, a loner, and knows what he really wants. He has tried the marriage thing, and, let's just say it just hasn't worked. "Women", he says "only seem to want the money and attention but rarely want to go the long haul."

I met him for a drink tonight, you see. As we were talking under the smoky haze of the dim barroom lighting, he told me of his most recent catch. With adrenaline on the sidelines, waiting for the call, he reaches beside him on the booth and pulls out a stack of bulging Manila folders...Documents competing to spill out of the sides.

"This one," he says as he points to the mugshot of a hefty Hispanic man wearing a grimace, "This one was a tough one. I pulled up to his house and asked to see him and his girlfriend, pregnant and smoking a cigarette, told me he was not home" My interest grew as he continued. "I knew better," he said. "They always lie. So I went up to the door and saw him hiding behind it. That's when all hell broke lose..."

You see, this man is a bounty hunter. He conspicuously collects people who get bailed out of jail but fail to meet the agreement terms set forth or pay the associated fees. At first, I wasn't sure if this was legal, but that last time I tried to clarify that, he pulled out more documents, and showed me the "ins & outs" of the law.

I have enjoyed listening to his many stories; I have done it upon many occasions. I also worry about him. It's a very dangerous job and he is my brother. He is constantly on the prowl, hunting down less-than-honorable people.

But, what I found more interesting than his hunt itself is the courtesy he always extends to these people. It is simple but eloquent and somewhat laughable but he always offers them food on the way to returning them to a cold, damp cell.

He takes them into a fast-food restaurant, or at least through the drive-thru, handcuffed and all. McDonald's, he says, is always his first choice & he prefers to buy them a happy meal. He says it is because he makes a lot of money off of them and as long as they don't give him a big fight, he figures if he extends this courtesy, perhaps they will not be "after him" when they get back out on the streets.

Smart, I thought, when he first told me of this. McDonald's drive thru. Yes, and he BUYS them a Happy Meal. All as a courtesy and a "thank you for not trying to kill me" gesture.

He says that, so far, it seems to work. Most people that he has "arrested" and has done this for, come up to him on the streets and actually shake his hand and treat him well.

So, I guess that makes me not worry quite so much about him. As long as he can get them to McDonald's before they shoot him, the Happy Meal might just do the trick.

**picture taken from www.mcdonalds.com

2 Comments:

Blogger BlueMoon said...

Are ya sure he isn't interested in a girlfriend? *wink*

You brother sounds like a very nice guy - try not to worry honey.

04:14  
Blogger Chick With A Gun said...

LOL...girl, this man has women flocking to him...LMAO!!!

He is a very good guy...I just worry about him running into some creap who has nothing better to do than kill someone just to get away..lol.


Thanks for posting! :)

11:54  

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