Sunday, September 25, 2005

Do You Ever Feel the Undertow?

Do you ever feel the undertow? Some people claim to never feel it.

A dark, mysterious force, it tugs at your firmly rooted feet in the water, tugging, always trying to pull you under, to take you away. But you keep fighting it by standing strong, resisting its temptations, paddling your legs and arms and staying closer to shore. At first you always try to ignore it by looking for beautiful seashells, always more and more of them. Then that loses interest after awhile and you desperately look to the sky for hope and guidance. Then, sometimes you find someone else next to you, fighting the same battle. Sometimes they don’t make it, but sometimes they do. But somehow you do. You keep fighting it; even though sometimes it takes you under for awhile, you always re-emerge, gasping for air. It just loses strength for a time or maybe you get stronger for awhile.

And then sometimes, you stop to focus on it, and you let yourself get drunk on its tab. You let it whisper its seductive, evil offers in your ear. You think about where it would take you, what it would do with you if it had its way. You allow yourself to indulge in its perversion, feeling the sand between your toes intensify as you ponder its power. You allow yourself to wander away from the shore and up to your neck in the water. You can hear the people on the beach, calling your name, calling for you to come back closer to the shore. So, you finally come to your senses & move a little closer to the shore, into shallower, safer water. You suddenly appreciate the oxygen you breath, the ocean mist against your cheek, the saltwater and sand that tangles your hair, and the seashells that pinch your toes that much more…for awhile.

As the waves roll by, you jump up and ride them back down to the sandy floor. Some of them you can handle, but some of them knock you down. But you keep going on, somehow, day after day, both fighting and playing with it. Eventually, it becomes your closest enemy but also your best friend. It’s a duality, and you tell yourself it makes you stronger the more you fight it.

You can always feel it…even if it’s ever so slight, it’s always there. You laugh, you play, and you work, always knowing you have to keep up the fight. But it is always there at your feet, tugging at them and pulling at them. You hope that one day you will be able to walk away from the undertow and stand on solid ground forever.


Blogger Gypsy said...

ok sis
you are tapping in my dreams, that is awsome cos i just thought of that and was goona write something
but am swimming parelle to the shore atm


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